It is hard to practice what you preach. I firmly believe in the authenticity of walking the talk, but when you are actually faced with the opportunity to do so, can I just be real honest and say it can be down right frustrating. Today I want to tell you a story of how I am learning to embrace the idea that fearless living means being willing to learn new things! Let me start by sharing the story about this red balloon.
We recently celebrated another year of my husband’s life and as per usual we went out to dinner with the family at Red Robin (YUM!).
We came,
we ate,
we survived a chaotic meal with three children. If you know, you know.
Before we got up to leave, each child was given a red balloon on a white stick. They were overjoyed…me, not so much because gifts like these usually end up right in the trash. Nevertheless, we carried on with our lives.
Later that week, I scheduled to shoot the footage for last month’s video. Let me share a little something with you:
- I know I am really good at creating a concept and putting it into writing.
- I am really good at taking a bunch of clips and organizing it in a program to make a cohesive story that makes sense.
- I’m also getting better at “Googling what I don’t know” to help push me in my pursuits to become a better editor.
But there is a space between writing and editing that gets murky for me- it’s the act of collecting video footage or the pieces I need to create a visual story.
It’s in this space, that I am attempting to embrace NEW.
Going into this video shoot I wanted to push myself. I wanted to create a character. I wanted to showcase humor. I wanted to make it shorter. I also wanted to attempt a dialogue by “cloning” myself on camera. (PS- there are a ton of youtube tutorials if you ever want to learn this stuff). We got a new camera for Christmas so I was also attempting to push myself in my camera handling knowledge.
Like I said, a lot of NEW-ness is happening in my life.
Here’s the truth about how I approach intimidating NEW-ness…I avoid and when I can’t avoid it and I struggle to learn, I get frustrated. When I get frustrated I turn into a 3 year old, throwing temper tantrums and whining to whoever will listen. Thank God for husband’s who can snap you out of it. I knew I was spiraling when after the third time of attempting to capture the dialogue footage and on the verge of tears my husband said “Maybe you should walk away from this video shoot today and come back to it when you calm down. I don’t know how to coach you when you’re like this.”
YIKES! I’m embarrassed to say it got that bad, but I am human and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. But I thought it was interesting how my emotions seem to explode in the midst of learning something new. I don’t like being an amateur because I’m afraid I will always be stuck in the amateur phase. This sentence alone is laughable to me because I can see the lie. Can you?
The reality is, we need to own the title of “amateur” and embrace it because there is something we need to learn. I’m not just talking about the skill, but I think we learn something about ourselves and our capabilities as we create and innovate in the NEW-ness we’ve been called into. Mark Batterson says in his book Chase the Lion that “you can’t just dream big; you have to think long.”
I am a big dreamer at heart and I feel a lot has been revealed in 2020 about my next steps- this YOUTUBE channel being a part of that. However, in the midst of dreaming big dreams I must remember that the road is long and the journey will seem slow and tedious at times as I learn the skills and lessons along the way to refine and align. That’s why small beginnings are good. It’s humbling to be reminded of this truth, especially through the process of creating this video. Growth that is steady and messy make the best stories.
Back to the red balloon. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. My biggest hang up in the video capturing process was getting a focused video of me. As of right now, I am a one-woman show. I write, shoot, star and edit all my videos. My issue was thinking I had a focused image, recording the scene only to find out that the images were fuzzy the whole time (ARGH!)
I know I am not the only one whose process is like this and I just couldn’t understand how people shoot clear video footage of themselves. So after my tantrums I processed what I potentially needed to get a focused shot. I needed a stand in or a target to focus on that would represent me.
Maybe something round on a stick that could represent my head. Hey, I wonder if that red balloon would work. A couple of test shots and one full reshoot later and I found my “scrappy solution.” This red balloon will forever be a part of this channel’s story; a tool I didn’t even know I needed. Thanks Red Robin (YUM!)
This is a picture of small beginnings.
This revelation reminded me of my why.
It reminds me of the importance of thinking long in the midst of dreaming big.
It’s ok to not have all the answers.
It’s ok to not have all the fancy equipment.
It’s ok to be resourceful.
It’s ok to embrace being bad at something.
Let me be absolutely clear, I know I am not great at capturing video footage now, but today I can confidently say that I am capable of learning. All I need is the endurance to take one creative step at a time in the midst of NEW.
How are you fearlessly embracing amateurism?
What is NEW in your life that you’re chasing?
Where do you need to think long?
Share in the comments below. Let’s encourage each other to move forward and have the endurance to learn and do NEW things together!
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